Paideia's Closet

Actual Knitting, and a Reflection on Lunch

Above, some actual knitting! It's my very own version of my so-called scarf, which has certainly made its rounds on the knit blogs and which I find quite delightful--an entertaining two-row repeat. The pattern is over here. I'm making it with Manos del Uruguay, as many people do, and really enjoying it. Hurrah for summer knitting. I'm letting my brain rot for one more week (recovery from my Very Stressful Year--or two) and then it's back to writing and work for moi.

Also, today in the Times I read the reader letters from an article last week on privileged, high-achieving high school students skipping lunch in order to cram more AP classes and activities into their day; one school is fighting back by REQUIRING lunch, and various folks have pointed out how students skipping meals leads to bad health habits later, etc. As a former-lunch-skipper, I do have thoughts. I skipped lunch until my senior year of high school, enabled by a chorus teacher who let us out of Concert Choir for ten minutes to run to the cafeteria (where I generally gobbled down something incredibly unhealthy, like a chocolate chip muffin or these melty warm cookies they had in stock). My senior year, I tried to do it again and I just couldn't stand it; chorus had moved to 8th period and everyone else was going "out to lunch" and having a good time. So I dropped AP Calc and all of my friends said that was why I didn't get into "School X." (There are probably a lot more reasons than that! Like, for example, sheer mathematical improbability)

What the hell kind of environment is that? I mean, really. High school was one of the places where I learned stress early-- and I still, to this day, end up skipping meals and eating crap from vending machines when I'm in a particularly crazed work period. (At Columbia the library where I wrote my dissertation had--they reappear in my story-- delightful chocolate chip muffins!) Obviously, I can't blame every eating habit on my high school environment, but the idea that students need to be SO stressed out that they're not healthy is kind of sick (to be fair, some of the students profiled in the article eat things like yogurt in class, but the fact that they don't have a break is kind of messed up). On the other hand, if you make students do less, are you putting them at a disadvantage compared with the students who keep on overdoing it? (This is a fight my mom, who discouraged me from taking many APs too early, and I had in squares). As long as so-called "elite" colleges keep rewarding students who spread themselves too thin (myself included), parents and students of the privileged sort in that Times article will keep learning to be overworked little stressballs, not healthy, functioning individuals.

Pomp and Circumstance

Well, I've gone to my last graduation, at least, the last one in which I am one of the graduates! Last week we returned to New York for Columbia's 2008 commencement excitement. It was a bit anticlimactic-- since I defended last summer-- but still, there was no way I was missing the awesome medieval garb and whatnot. As I recently admitted to one friend, I pictured the day of my PhD graduation long before I pictured any kind of wedding day (not that that wasn't lovely too!), and, like a wedding, anything that you picture for that long is bound to have both its good moments and to also fall short a bit. Overall, though, it was a lovely week, and I remain fairly bowled over by the general love and support of friends and family as I reached this juncture.

A few random thoughts and events:

1) When I graduated from college, my parents presented me with a very lovely old Waltham watch--- a wind-up wristwatch-- to commemorate the Boston suburb in which I attended school (which was once known for its watch factory). I had planned to wear it to my PhD graduation, but it's been running fast, so it remained at home. While waiting for the PhD convocation to start, I asked my friend T. for the time, and then admired his lovely pocketwatch-- which, as it turned out, was a 1920 Waltham watch.

2) All commencement speeches should be short. Very short. (Alas, they rarely are!)

3) It rained buckets on the day of the PhD convocation, which was happily indoors, but this did kind of ruin the reception.

4) It was sunny for the big university-wide commencement (and boy are those robes warm!) The antics of the different schools--- all 11,000-odd graduates--- were fun to watch. The Columbia College kids actually throw apple cores (for the Core Curriculum) at the other undergrads. Classy. The engineering folks had big plastic hammers, the Business School waved money, the J-school, newspring, SIPA had international flags, etc. (The Dental School marches with a giant toothbrush, and the dean of the Law School had a huge gavel). The Arts and Sciences PhD graduates sadly lacked a gimmick. While we were lining up, someone suggested that we should all throw our dissertations. (Good way to knock someone out!)

Now we're back in Wisconsin, where the trees are finally all leafed out, with a newfound appreciation for the open spaces. I was kind of sad to realize that it was my last graduation EVER--but the cool part is that I get to wear my spiffy regalia again anytime I want to march as faculty. (So long as I am employed!) I really am a big sucker for pomp and circumstance.

Leaves That Are Green

It's finally "spring" here. This means that it's still relatively cold (in the 50s right now), but every week or two we get a day in the 70s to tease us. More importantly, it's turning greener and greener around here. I've never been so happy to see leaves on trees.

The title of this post is taken from a Simon and Garfunkel song. The fact that a lot of my chief musical influences were most popular well before I was born leads me into the generational ranting below, which is itself, no doubt, a desperate move to avoid More Grading. In fact, my musical tastes and habits encapsulate the complexities and paradoxes of the question, What The Hell Generation Am I Anyway? On the one hand, see: Paul Simon, the Beatles, Joni Mitchell, assorted jazz greats, and the fact that I kind of wish I had a turntable. On the other hand, see: slave to the itunes music store (and now amazon, too), ipod addiction, willingness to listen to MP3s (my dad insists they're sub-par), fondness for whatever songs have recently been on Grey's Anatomy. Seems wrong, no?

I don't know why I've seized on this this morning--- probably, as noted, grading avoidance--- but I'm suddenly feeling grumpy about not knowing what generation I'm in. (X? Y-- which seems mostly discarded as a label? Millennial?) Generational schemes are notably lame and perhaps not even that useful, but for the second time this election season, Frank Rich has linked to an article about the "Millennials" and my own lack of generational clarity has made me grumpy.

The problem is, I was simply born in a cusp year---1978, and this is quite logical. My parents are among the oldest boomers--technically, my father, born at the end of 1943, is a shade "pre-boomer." But their friends are pretty much all of this generation and they fit with its so-called "stories."

So I'm the child of the oldest boomers who had me in their early 30s. Fine.

Generation X is sometimes identified with being born in the 1960s/early 70s, but sometimes the birth dates for X extend into the late 70s and even early 80s. (Sometimes the late part of this time period is called "The MTV generation." I personally define the MTV generation as those who actually remember videos being shown on MTV. I'm in!). I certainly identify with the kind of malaise, cynicism, and confusion often ascribed to Gen X. And I remember the end of the Cold War, Reagan, and a lot of things that my students absolutely do not seem to remember. (My "traditional age" college students, that is). But, on the other hand, when articles about Generation X and its early-adulthood woes first came out in the 1990s, I was initially still in high school and not facing those issues at all.

By the time I caught up, graduated from college in 2000, and WAS facing those issues, this whole "Millennial" thing came up. Technologically, I am somewhere in betweeen Gen X and the Millennials. Yes, I have a facebook page and an ipod and am fairly digitally-oriented, a so-called "Millennial" characteristic. But I still remember my parents' home WITHOUT a computer, with our first computer-- an Apple II-plus-- and I did not have e-mail until i got to college; I grew up more like a Gen X-er that way. For Pete's sake, I remember rotary phones!

The Millennials are one of those generations that will get to "matter" (if the planet is still here) because they're enormous. Mostly, they seem to be defined as beginning with birth dates in 1982. On the other hand, they're enormous (demographically) because they're the children of the boomers. But I'm a child of a boomer! Just a really early one.

Basically, because I'm in that etherworld of years (1976-1982) that's pretty damned unclear in terms of generational affiliation, I am doomed not to know what generation I am. I'm married to another 1978-er, but a lot of friends are older than I am, which leads me to 1) not want to reveal my birth year a whole lot, 'cause they make fun of me, and 2) Feel more Gen X. Emphasizing my Gen-X-ness also helps to differentiate me from my students, which, you might say, is kind of stupid.

Why does any of this matter? It doesn't really. Generations are reductionist fantasies, implying that we can predict how someone will act, think, vote, marry based on birth year, age of graduation, etc. This is a crock. On the other hand, because I'm interested in memory and because I'm a basically insecure person who longs to "fit in," they are of interest as cultural touchstones.

Because really, the way you determine if you're of the same vintage as someone else is whether or not they remember 80s cartoons, and if they were reared on Sesame St. before the Elmo Debacle.

What generation are you? Do you care? Thoughts?

Spring Weekend Update

Well, I have a bunch of meetings today but it's technically almost the weekend.

Updates on random spheres of life:

Weather: As seen above, spring is finally budding and over the last week or two we've had a few really beautiful days (and I even wore sandals, once). Unfortunately rain and possibly SNOW is predicted for Sunday! Yikes. New England got me used to the idea that snow could happen early in April, but late April is ridiculous.

Crafts and Knitting: Sadly it feels like this area of my life is really lacking right now, since everything else is so crazy. I haven't even bought yarn in a long time because I'm scarcely progressing through my stash. My last finished project was a teeny cap for a colleague's (adorable) baby girl, in February. I'm vaguely working on an easy and slow scarf, a secret summer project, and have two socks (different pairs) that haven't been touched since winter break. Never mind the idea of other crafts. Definitely miss this sphere of life, but at night I'm seriously too tired to knit.

School/work: There are three weeks to go in our semester and then two days later we head back to Columbia for commencement. This means we're hitting crunch time-- papers (and anxiety) are pouring in, final exams have to be written, many committees and service things are pushing to get done before everyone is gone. Everyone who says the first year out is incredibly hard is 100% correct. I barely feel like a scholar anymore and miss that side of my work terribly--- it seems like something foggy that happened long, long ago. I continue to really like a lot of my students, and my one repeat course showed that life will definitely get better when I have more repetition next fall-- although Spring 09 will be all new classes again!

Also: students are very sleep in both 8 am classes and night classes, no matter how many jokes I make.

So, needless to say, I'm really looking forward to the summer and hoping it will somehow be both productive and restful. Except for one very cool one-week teaching institute and some short weekends (including the Red Sox in Chicago in August!), I'm staying put. And hopefully getting a lot of sleep.

Going back for commencement after being gone for a year (and done since July) will be very odd. Hopefully good as I like academic ritual, but for some reason right now it's looming as vaguely stressful.

Random Funny Articles Watch: The New York Times, riffing off an earlier Huffington Post article, asks is Obama a Mac and Clinton a PC?. Relatively funny, if kind of a pointless exercise. I worry that branding Obama a Mac ties in with further cries of "elitism!!!" (As Jon Stewart pointed out, don't you WANT the people in charge to be a bit better than you? Doesn't elite mean "good"?), but whatever, it's funny. Go read it.

And a happy Passover to those of the persuasion.

I said "What's a crocus?" and you said, "It's a flower."

In Wisconsin, February is so long that it almost lasts into April. It's still a bit chilly outside. That said, finally, this week, bits of early flowers are starting to appear above the soil! Even more thrilling, the snow has mostly melted and the grass has started to turn a sweet mossy green instead of brown.

Living slightly farther north than we have before also means that the days get longer more sharply-- nothing too dramatic, but when my alarm went off at 6:30 today it was totally light out. I'll take it!

And baseball is going for real--- every day, and not in the morning. Renewal, rebirth, pitching, and Pedro already has a hamstring injury (but at least now the Mets have Santana!) The long winter means that I think I Get Spring better than I have before-- after cold and dark that is so cold and dark you think it will never end, the idea of a flower really is kind of ridiculous and un-nameable. And what is a better symbol of spring rebirth than the new baseball season? (Never mind all that solstice, Easter, and upcoming Passover stuff :-) ).

Happy Regular Season!

Happy First Day of the Major League Baseball Season, everybody!

Early this morning my beloved Red Sox played the Oakland As--in Japan--in the first game of the 2008 MLB season and prevailed.

Hurrah!!!!

Baseball is back. The world feels less off, somehow.

America Is Stupid

So, am I the only person who thinks it's completely dumb that "we" impeach or otherwise force people out of office for sexual indiscretions (yes, I know, breaking the law, but about sex), but leave people in office when they, oh, give false and/or misleading rationales for going to war or other savory activities?

I. Don't. Care. What. Politicians. Do. In. The. Bedroom. I didn't care with the Clinton fiasco, and I don't care now. Leave people's damn personal lives at home. People should be free to practice their sexual lives as they see fit.

What a stupid circus.

On Migraines

The New York Times has a new new blog on migraines. This raises the issue of why I so rarely post on both of my blogs, and why I'm even crummier at keeping up with comments on other blogs. The answer: migraines.

I am a "migraineur," a word I learned recently from the blog and that sounds kind of dirty (I think it reminds me of the French "flaneur."

Anyway, this post is just a shout-out to say: migraines suck. I had an awful one this week. Basically a lot of my life feels like a cycle wherein i I want to Get Healthy, Be Productive, and all of the things that might, in the long term, make the migraines and other sundry health problems go away.... but whenever I hit a productive streak I invariably get a day-long or week-long blinding, vomit-inducing migraine in the middle of it and thus end up constantly behind, which leads to stress, which leads to generalized unhealthy behaviors. This week my migraine killed one of my non-teaching work days, and came back that evening because I had to prepare some classes, continuing through the next day. Let me tell you, you haven't lived until you've taught 8 a.m. Hebrew Bible with blinding pain behind your eye! Thrilling.

And don't even get me started on life without chocolate and red wine.

Actually, the fact that I have conditioned a negative response to chocolate in my body suggests that I SHOULD be able to condition such a response to other foods that I shouldn't eat, but i have not yet managed to do so.

(My, we're not crabby or anything, are we?) Winter is getting me down and I'm pretty sure we've got about two months of it to go.

Anyway, I'll still be checking in here but in general I'm trying to reduce eyestrain from excess Internet time.

Migraineurs of the world unite!

Baby, It's Cold Outside

Last night we had a blizzard-- not in terms of inches of snow but in terms of wind (50 mph) and white-out conditions. Lots of business closed early and lots of meetings were canceled, a sign that Wisconsinites took the thing seriously.

I brought home my work laptop and elected to work from home today, which seems to have been a good call. Today it's sunny but at 10 a.m. the temperature was -10 degrees (-30 or so with wind chill). Yet it's extremely warm in our apartment due to the eastern exposure and morning sunlight-- Phoebe is chillin' in the sunbeam as I type.

In other news, the semester begins next week. It's amazing, this is the longest winter break I've ever had (we start late and go farther into May than previous schedules I've had), and it still feels too short. My syllabi are done but all of the work and general self-improvements I wanted to complete over winter break have not happened, due to a number of circumstances.

And, some breaking news: John Edwards is dropping out of the presidential race. This should be interesting although I'm really not sure who benefits. In general, I've been fixated by this year's races more than I have been by any political shenanigans in quite some time. I'm still pretty cynical about the future of the country or the Dems ability to win, but fixated (on both sides of the aisle) nonetheless.
Be warm and productive wherever you are!

Grumble Grumble, New Hampshire

Grumble. I'm not pleased with tonight's results (being an Obama girl), but I'm yukking up the coverage in two ways:

1) Take that, stupid pollsters and media wonks. Democracy wins.

2) (really, 1a): Tom Brokaw just suggested that the media and co. actually wait until the voters cast their votes to decide an election. Cripes, Tom! Don't be going nuts, now.

I did agree with many aspects of Gloria Steinem's op-ed in the New York Times today. Sexism is still a force in America; African American men did get the vote (but with Jim Crow) well before women; a woman president in America would certainly be a first. And, yes, Hillary and Obama have many Senate votes in common. All that said, as a feminist, I believe in equality between men and women, and to simply support Hillary because she is a woman is not the way I operate. She voted for the war. She was as hawkish as anyone in Washington from 2001-2004. She was on the board of Walmart. Now she talks populism and change, because Edwards and Co. forced the rhetoric that way, and ending the war, because the disastrous war and the antiwar movement finally changed the mood of the country. That's not leadership, and that's not populism. Continuing American political dynasties is not change. She does not get my vote unless she's the last Dem standing.

I am SO ticked off about the press narrative: Hillary cried, the people saw she was emotional, so they voted for her. Disgusting.

All that said, what a difference between the grumpy, intolerant, wealthy fighting old white men in the GOP debate---all automatons except for Ron Paul, and the composed, generally classy faces of the Democrats-- woman, African American, Latino, and, well Edwards, a class warrior if you can forget The Haircut.

I wish there were more women politicians coming down the pipeline, but there aren't many. I AM happy that the democratic front runners are a woman and an African American, and both intelligent people to boot. May the country at large be that progressive.

I also wish that once, just once, my voice mattered in the primary, and that I could do more than just give money, and a pittance at that. Short of quitting my job to join a campaign, I'm reduced to "words," another topic of the political week and one I'm not going into right now.

The real winner in all of this? Bush. The media is so busy scrutinizing what a bunch of comparatively powerless candidates are doing that he can do whatever the heck he wants.

Finally, I end with the note that Charles Gibson is an idiot, and proved how COMPLETELY out of touch the media is with even the real world of privileged, Ivy-educated me. At the Saturday debate, he referred to, oh, say, a couple of married professors making "$200,000 a year" in their household. Right, Charlie. Read the Chronicle of Higher Ed please. The day the average professor makes $100,000 (not adjusting for inflation), I'll be queen. Thanks for overestimating my salary, which is technically a matter of public record, by a factor of more than 2.

On to the other 48 states.